Understanding the Importance of Hospice Care Conversations
Serious discussions are very tricky with children, and this becomes all the more difficult when it is related to hospice care. Parents need to address the situation with as much sympathy and clarity as possible. Children too may have a number of questions and apprehensions about what hospice care would mean for their loved ones. You can see them through this rather trying time a little more smoothly by clearing their doubts with a great deal of honesty and empathy.
How to Approach the Subject
Timing and Place
Find a quiet, comfortable spot where there will be no interruptions. This will provide an environment for a free and frank discussion with no distractions. Your child also needs to feel safe and secure; that is how he or she will be able to talk more freely.
Use Age-Appropriate Language
Tailor your words, depending on your child’s age and comprehension level. Younger children might need an easier explanation, while older children may need more information. Be sensitive to emotional maturity and what your child can accept in a conversation.
Truthfulness and Clarity
Children do appreciate honesty, even when the truth is hurtful. Explain what hospice care is and why it is necessary, in simple, straightforward language. Avoid euphemisms, which may confuse or mislead.
Common Questions and Concerns Addressed
What is Hospice Care?
Explain that hospice is a special kind of care that cuddles and comforts very sick people who may not get better. It helps manage pain and other symptoms in order to improve quality in one’s life.
Why Does My Loved One Need Hospice Care?
Explain the nature of his or her illness and how all medical treatments have certain limitations. Convey that hospice is utilized when treatments are no longer effective and the goals turn toward comfort and creating precious moments together.
Will My Loved One Improve?
Be straightforward regarding the prognosis and explain that hospice care is for those individuals who are no longer expected to recover, but rather a way to care for them to keep them comfortable. You can reassure your child that their loved one will be well taken care of.
Helping Children Cope with Emotions
Encourage Open Communication
Let him know that it is always okay to question things and show feelings. Encourage him also to talk about his emotions and validate his feelings, whatever those may be, from sadness to anger to confusion.
Provide Reassurance
They may fear that others in their family may die, or they may be afraid for their own safety. Reassure them that they are safe and their loved one is receiving the best possible care. Comfort them with your hugs, words, and time together.
Opportunities Connecting
Allow your child to give the time they feel a loved one in hospice care needs: visit, draw pictures or write letters. These can be the ways children connect and help themselves to closure.
Supporting Your Child Through the Process
Professional Support
Consider hiring a child psychologist or counselor that specializes in grief and loss. They can provide other supportive efforts and ways to help your child through this time.
Establish Routine and Normalcy
Living a routine can provide stability to your child in such an uncertain time. Stick with daily activities, school, and hobbies that give them security.
Be Patience and Understanding
Children may grieve in their own way and may also act out through various different stages of the grieving process. Be patient and understanding, and extend love to them as they sort their feelings out. Allow him/her the time and manner to grieve.
While it is undeniably difficult to discuss hospice care with children, it is a very important part in helping them be able to understand and cope with the reality of things. Parents can lead their child through this with honesty, empathy, and support. Once more, your love and being there is all the comfort that they really need.
Closing the Discussion: Going Further with Conversations and Continued Support
The conversation needs to be ongoing after the initial dialogue. Children will have many questions and feelings that will pop up over time after the fact. Go back to it when necessary and frequently, providing more details and reassurance. Let them know this is an ok topic to revisit.
Misconceptions
They may have formed misconceptions or friends telling them untruths. Correct these misconceptions as soon as possible with simple, correct information so they understand what hospice care is.
Fostering Expressive Outlets
Children need expressive outlets. Sometimes when children have something to draw, write a note, or play with play dough, it’s helpful to take some of the emotions out. This provides them with an opportunity to do so.
Engaging in Care with the Whole Family
Bring in the other family members for support and so that everyone is on the same page. It will also let your child know they are not alone in their feelings.
Building Resilience
Encourage your child to develop some coping mechanisms that will be helpful for their entire lives. Teach them about resiliency and the strength found in times of turmoil. Share numerous stories about how others have handled similar events.
Creating Memories That Will Last
Support your child in spending quality time and making lifelong memories with their loved one receiving hospice care. These can be as simple as reading together, storytelling, or reviewing a photo album. These times could provide comfort and cherished memories in the days ahead.
Connecting with Community Resources
Community resources can be extended to include support groups and workshops for children in bereavement. These can be very helpful for additional support and a sense of community as well. Look for programs specifically designed for children and families in similar situations.
Monitoring Changes in Behavior
Watch for serious changes in behavior such as changes in sleeping or eating habits or if your child appears to be depressed. If you think your child may be having real problems dealing with stress, seek professional help.
Teaching Self-Care
Help your child learn ways to take care of themself when life is stressful. Encourage them to do things they enjoy and to take some time to relax. This can help them cope better with their feelings and maintain their physical health.
Provide Ongoing Support
The need for support does not stop after the initial talk. Continue to be there for your child with love and understanding. Let them know it is okay to grieve and that you are there to support them through everything.
Celebrating the Life of the Loved One
Encourage your child to find ways to celebrate the life of their loved one. Maybe they want to do something tangible, like a memory book, tree planting, or other activities that remind them of their loved one. These can provide some closure and a way to remember one’s loved one.
Moving On Together
Over time, continue to support your child in finding his ‘new normal’ without his loved one. Help him discover new routines and activities that bring him happiness and fulfillment. Help him understand it is okay to move forward, to continue to live life while still holding very dear the memory of his loved one.
Patience, empathy, and support are required when discussing hospice care with children. By being there for your child and by responding to their concerns, you help them cope with a very stressful situation. Your guidance and love are the foundation they will use to process their emotions and draw strength from in difficult times.